Rainy days are here again…plus one lunar eclipse. :D
I remember hearing someone saying, “When it rains, it pours.” These days its all I think about, especially since its been raining hard on our place, a day doesn’t go by without a drizzle, or a downpour. Just a few weeks back, all the news channels on our TV were showing reports of experts and various government and non-government organizations worrying about the lack of rain in our country especially since it was supposed to be the rainy season. They were even trying cloud seeding to help raise the water levels of one of the dams in Luzon, and there was a threat of water shortage and even drought for farm lands in the northern areas of Luzon. A few weeks passed, and now its been raining really hard every day, well at least here in Batangas.
With regards to rain, it seems that endless problems are raining in on me. >.< School woes and other problems emerge as the skies outside get cloudy and dark, and sounds of thunder and streaks of lightning coincide with my life’s troubles. To top it off, we have a lunar eclipse. >.> Quite a dark time for me it seems. I just wish things would get better and clearer for me soon. I can’t wait for my fresh crisp air and warm bright sunshine after my life’s period of storms.
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Why single people get even more depressed…
So I’ve been a bit depressed lately (well, I always am so thats normal) and the text quotes my friends like to forward doesn’t help at all. Imagine people sending you a lot of these sad love quotes…Yes its cute to read but it doesn’t lift your spirits up when you realize its being sent to you because you’re single and you haven’t found your prince charming yet (or you’re dream guy, the one meant for you, the man who deserves you, etc.) and you’re at home alone at nights, and you spend your day living your life without a significant other.
I’m not saying being single isn’t fun, but when you all go out and it becomes a “couples” night-out when all your friends arrive paired up, it can be quite awkward. For example, when you’re all single, you usually share the tab and when its time to leave, you all go home together, or even sleep at each others house. Its different when everyone’s a couple already. You order just for yourself, and when its time to leave you utter, “Its alright, silly. I can go home by myself”. >.<
I got this text message back then. It was quite sad really. I can’t remember it exactly, but it goes something like:
Sometimes I wonder if there’s a fine print on my heart that says:
Tear Here.
Ouch.
Here’s another one:
Math tells us three of the saddest love stories.
Tangent lines, who had one chance to meet and then parted forever.
Parallel lines, who were never meant to meet.
and
Asymptotes, who can get closer and closer but will never be together.
Okay… I don’t think the person who made the quote itself knew me… But it still annoys me that it seems my love story has been revolving on the three ones up there. There was the one I rather liked, it sounded like:
When someone asks you why you are still single, just tell them:
Because God is still busy writing the greatest love story of all time.
Haha, I wonder if that meant someone else’s story wasn’t done yet and I am next in line, or if that story was mine. If it was mine, God sure is taking quite a long time writing it. 
Another quote that I got a few weeks ago I think:
Stop over analyzing life. Just live it.
Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Maybe I’ve been over analyzing my life. Its a favorite past time actually. Helps me pass the huge amount of time I have on my hands while everyone is busy living their happy lives with their partners.
See I have too much thoughts on my mind.
P.S. I don’t mind getting sad quotes, but getting 3-5 a day is too much.
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Longing for silence, amidst the noise of my own thoughts.
I have a thought problem. A lot of times I can’t have quiet times even when I am by myself because my head is filled with a whole bunch of thoughts, and its like being on a computer when you’re multi-tasking. Imagine your lying comfortably on your bed at night, with the cool breeze gently soothing and comforting you, inviting you to just let go of everything, to just be there, doing nothing, thinking of nothing. Just lost in your senses and the beauty of the sky and stars outside your window. But then, thoughts come rushing to you. Worries over trivial matters, bills to be paid, responsibilities to attend to, tasks to be finished, goals to be realized. Sometimes, its just too much.
I don’t want my mind to become dull, so I do understand that thinking and exercising my brain is needed, but sometimes I just want to be totally zoned out. You know just staring at the sky thinking of nothing, and just having my mind blacked out of thought. It sounds weird but I long for it at times. Its just, sometimes it can be quite tiring hearing yourself think especially when you do it all the time when you’re awake.
I am not interested in taking anything that would induce that so don’t worry. Lol. I prefer everything to be natural.
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Finally, I can end the story.
So I haven’t been posting for the past 3 days, its been raining hard in here so I’ve been sleeping a lot. I love it when it rains, especially I get to just curl up in my bed wrapped in my warm blanket listening to the wind and rain. My cramps and bruised hips doesn’t hurt that much anymore, but I still don’t feel so well so I’m taking all the rest I can get.
So back to the “moment” I can never forget in Earthaven.
***
One of the things I can never forget about that trip was the activity we had the night before our departure back to the city. The facilitator called us all into the bonfire, it was really dark since it rained but he said we can still do the activity. Each one of us was given a bamboo to be lighted so we won’t get lost in the dark, and we made our way up into the mountain. With lighted bamboos on hand, we climbed the wet and slippery mountain again to its other side, holding hands and helping each other get to the top. He stops us when we reach the clearing and instructs us to leave our bamboos, line up in one row and all hold each other, arms clasped and locked together, and run as fast as we can to the top. When we got to the top, the end of that mile, all the weariness we felt as we were climbing up just faded away.
What welcomed us was a sight we rarely see. Right in front of us was the full view of the city, the place where we came before we arrived at Earthaven. We were standing at the edge of the mountain, and we were staring at the city like we were viewing something in a picture. Standing up there, you’ll feel overwhelmed by how big the city is, and how small we really are, but looking at it felt like I was larger than what I thought I was. Imagine, I can see the whole city, its slums, its houses, its highways, all the lights, and I can hear the drifting noises of the honks and beeps of cars, low and faint but I can hear it.
As we stared at everything you can’t help but sigh and feel sad, and feel peaceful at the same time. While I was staring there, I was thinking what might be that family in that little lighted house be doing at this time? Where they laughing and happy, complete as a family? Or in that small dark house, could there be someone crying longing for their parents, or even a loved one? I think, what could everyone be doing? I can see the flicker of lights, hear the faint but distinct honks and beeps of the cars, and I can’t help but wonder, amidst of all those noises do we still stop and stare at the sky?
While we were all standing there at the edge, we were crying as the facilitator shared with us about the story of other people who went there. They were Japanese students he said, and they were all so awed by how the sky was so pretty and the stars were so lovely. He said the students told him, it was the first time they saw stars. He asked them if they were serious and they answered him, “Yes. In our city, there are so many lights. You can’t see the starts when you look up anymore.” By then we were all crying harder, because sitting there we felt at peace and we just got there that day. What even made us cry more was our facilitators words, “Look at that place. That’s where you came from. You can see the pollution and you see the smog even if we’re far away. All that noise and lights. It never sleeps. And tomorrow, you will all be back there.”
I will never forget that place. Before we left that edge, a firefly lands on one of my friends hands. It was the first time we saw one. Our facilitator tells us, that fireflies are only able to live in a clean and balanced environment. If fireflies live and exist in your neighborhood, it was one way of determining your place is clean and pollution free. Somehow, I’ve never seen one again since that night in Earthaven.
I wonder when I’ll get the chance to find one again.
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Continuation of last entry…
I had to take some rest since I’ve been having stomach and pelvic cramps after I went to that erm, I don’t know what its called. So lets leave it at that. So here’s the continuation of the activities that we had.
By the way, here is a picture we took after we finished the last activity. We were cleaning up since we were a bit dirty from the activities we finished.
****
The next activity, we had was catching our dinner. We were supposed to catch the chicken, but it kept running and flying off. Haha. Good thing the facilitator said it was alright even if we didn’t catch him, what matters was that we had fun doing it. After the unsuccessful “catch your dinner”, he asked who wanted to try crossing the huge log to the other side. We had 2 volunteers, and they looked so funny trying to cross it. i didn’t try it, since I’m not ready to try that yet. 
So after they had finally finished, we went on to our next activity, which was the mud crawl! I loved that activity. We had to crawl underneath a net that was covering a waterlily mud patch thing. It was so much fun, we had to crawl our way on th cold and sticky mud and waterlilies. We were also told to crawl while our heads was on the water, and we can only bring it up to breathe. Haha, all of us did it twice since it was so fun to do.
Here’s a picture of my friend Lucky in the mudcrawl:
***
After that, our facilitator said we were gonna go up the mountains. So we climbed up, it was quite a long climb and lots of big rocks were there too, when we got tired a bit, we found a small creek and we washed again because we were a bit itchy from the climb. Here’s us:
Then we continued our climb and reached the place where our facilitator wanted to take us to:
I’ll be posting the last activity tomorrow, where I sat and stared for what felt like such a long time, when in fact it was just a few minutes. Its the moment I always remember, and long to find again.
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