Chain letters…An endless chain indeed.
I was reading the recent issue of my school’s Filipino newspaper, “Plaridel” and in one article it talked about chain letters. I then remembered how chain letters have evolved as I moved from grade school, high school and to college.
Back in grade school, I transferred to a public school when I was in Grade 4 and stayed there until Grade 6. Since we were in a public school, the chain letters back then was handwritten. Seriously, my classmates and I wrote in cursive, putting great effort in making our 10 copies of the chain letter we have to pass to the next 10 unfortunate students in the school. It was like a race to get the letters to other students because we will run out of people to give it to. Popular methods of transfer were:
- Giving the letter directly to another student.
- Inserting the letters in bags of unsuspecting students.
- Inserting it on notebooks (when we distribute them after the teachers has checked them).
- If all else fails, dropping the letters on our neighbors or other unknown people’s gates.
Then in high school, things changed. We still had the chain letters, but this time we have access to computers during the first year(old computers though, like those which have the orange fonts or other which is used mostly for typing) so we type it, print the sheet, and photocopy it. Yes, by that time the chain effect still hasn’t worn of and we still believe it. All methods of transfer from grade school are still used with the following methods:
- Using people’s lockers as mailboxes. (Some people were unfortunate enough to get multiples.)
- Inserting it on borrowed books in the library. (Thus the next borrower, who unfortunately opens the inserted sheet and reads it, is sucked back into the chain letter cycle.)
When I reached around my 3rd year HS and the early years of college, the use of emails greatly enhanced the exchange of chain letters. We even started including pictures of scary images to further convince the recipient to forward the letters to others to avoid bad luck. These days, I also get chain letters through instant messages, text, and even through neighbors with a task needed to be done, like baking breads.
Chain letters have certainly changed ways of delivery but the content and structure has stayed the same. After reading it, it must be sent to a number of other people, and in turn we are promised either good luck, good fortune and great love, and most of the time be spared from endless bad luck as the letter claims.
When I receive those chain letters, I still feel the same eerie feeling I got back when I first read them in grade school. Even when I don’t really believe in them anymore, I still forward some of them to other people just because of that small nagging fear in me, that the letter’s threats might indeed happen.
And that scares me more than the monsters under my bed.
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Of baskets and Lola’s, things have certainly changed.
In replying to Laarni’s comment in my last post, I remembered my grandmother and her native basket.
Back when I was younger, around 6 or 7, I used to go with my lola (grandmother) when she does the daily “pamamalengke” (buying food supplies from the market) early in the morning. We’d go out around 6 am, when the market is busy with “byaheros” (suppliers delivering their fruits, vegetables and meat to market vendors) unloading their goods and bartering with the vendors. We’d get to pick fresh stuff, and at times even get more discounts for being the “buena mano“. My lola always carried her big basket. We’d buy fruits, vegetables, pork, chicken and rice. And all of it fit in the basket. No matter how much we bought, it seemed to always fit in the basket. We didn’t use much plastic back then, only the wet goods, like the fresh fish gets packed in it so the other stuff we bought will not be soiled.
These days, when I go with my mom to buy in the market, everything we buy is packed in plastic. We won’t be able to bring back home anything if it wasn’t in plastic because we don’t bring baskets anymore. Sometimes when cash is low, we even go to the groceries where frozen goods are available to be bought on credit, so we try to be contented with frozen chicken and veggies. Maybe I can convince mom to get me a basket…
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Continuation of last entry…
I had to take some rest since I’ve been having stomach and pelvic cramps after I went to that erm, I don’t know what its called. So lets leave it at that. So here’s the continuation of the activities that we had.
By the way, here is a picture we took after we finished the last activity. We were cleaning up since we were a bit dirty from the activities we finished.
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The next activity, we had was catching our dinner. We were supposed to catch the chicken, but it kept running and flying off. Haha. Good thing the facilitator said it was alright even if we didn’t catch him, what matters was that we had fun doing it. After the unsuccessful “catch your dinner”, he asked who wanted to try crossing the huge log to the other side. We had 2 volunteers, and they looked so funny trying to cross it. i didn’t try it, since I’m not ready to try that yet. 
So after they had finally finished, we went on to our next activity, which was the mud crawl! I loved that activity. We had to crawl underneath a net that was covering a waterlily mud patch thing. It was so much fun, we had to crawl our way on th cold and sticky mud and waterlilies. We were also told to crawl while our heads was on the water, and we can only bring it up to breathe. Haha, all of us did it twice since it was so fun to do.
Here’s a picture of my friend Lucky in the mudcrawl:
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After that, our facilitator said we were gonna go up the mountains. So we climbed up, it was quite a long climb and lots of big rocks were there too, when we got tired a bit, we found a small creek and we washed again because we were a bit itchy from the climb. Here’s us:
Then we continued our climb and reached the place where our facilitator wanted to take us to:
I’ll be posting the last activity tomorrow, where I sat and stared for what felt like such a long time, when in fact it was just a few minutes. Its the moment I always remember, and long to find again.
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Its been a long time since I last sat and stared…
I was browsing around last night after I posted, and I ran into this blog entry when I decided to check a blog because its name interested me. I was reading the article and I started to think and look back on how I used to just be able to sit and stare at the sky when I was younger, when my attention was not into computers and the other means of entertainment available today. Thinking back, one of my sit and stare experiences just stands out from the other moments I had just doing nothing, with my gaze and thoughts transfixed on what was around me, in front of me and above me.
It was back in September 2003 when I participated in a team-building activity in one of the student council departments, along with 7 other students who I just met. We headed on the second day to Earthaven, an ecovillage in Rizal, which is I think the last and only rain forest in Metro Manila. We arrive there blindfolded, it was part of the activity and tradition, and the sounds that met our ears as we entered the place was soothing, calming and invigorating. Since we couldn’t see anything, we are focused on the things we were hearing, like gongs, birds chirping, leaves rustling, river flowing and the sound of stillness and peace enveloped us. When our blindfolds were taken off, the vividness of the place was breathtaking. The trees, the water and everything about it was mesmerizing. I’ve never been there before, but there was a sense of a familiarity in it, and strangely I felt like I was home.
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After registering in the cottage at the entrance, we were brought to the geo cafe for our snacks. We were given mango crepes and ice cold lemon grass juice in bamboo cuts. After the short introduction and discussions, the facilitator informed us of the activities we’ll do when we leave the cafe. After going down from the cafe, we walked towards the river area, there was a large rock there, with a cottage, and a tree with suspending ropes tied from this side to the other side which I figured out was a bridge. So first activity was something like we all had to climb in the large rock (we were 
and stay up there until we are able to finish singing our alma mater hymn. We are only given 15 minutes to do so, and to be able to advance to the next activity we have to finish and pass the task. If anyone of us isn’t on top of the rock after the time is up, that person is left and will not be able to continue on. It was a very difficult task because we were 8 people and we were of all shapes and sizes. Every time we failed to get on top of the rock, one of us would say leave me. But everyone kept saying no one is going to be left behind, and it was difficult and tiring, but we did it. All 8 of us, on one rock, holding and grasping each other making sure everyone doesn’t fall-off. To me it was a great achievement especially since we just knew each other a few days ago. We worked, thought and stayed together making sure that no one gets left behind.
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The second activity was the trust activity. It was something like a “catch me when I fall” activity where one person was in the center and everyone is around her in a circle ready to catch her if she falls and push her back up and continue until the 3 minute time is up. The catch was that person in the middle, has to let herself fall, and entrust herself fully to her teammates. It wasn’t easy, especially when you were blindfolded and making yourself lean back and let yourself fall. We had to fully immerse ourselves in trust of our teammates, people we met just a few days ago. The first tries to let yourself go, and just believe and have faith in other people that they won’t let you fall down was excruciating. Even though you hear them say they will catch you, you doubt it and it was agonizing and scary. But the facilitator helps you by encouraging you, and telling you to ask yourself,
“Can I entrust myself to others? Am I willing to let my guards down and trust that these people around me will catch me and never let me fall? Can I find it in my heart, to listen and believe in these people as they tell me they are there to catch me?”
It took me 4 tries before I was able to let myself fall back. While I was falling, many thoughts came to my mind, but I just didn’t listen anymore and listened to my heart. When I felt their hands catch me and push me back up for the very first time, it made me cry hard. It was like I finally let go of something, that in letting myself fall I set myself free from doubts and insecurities. Letting myself fall back the second and the next few times was extremely easy and was so much fun because you know these people will catch you when you fall. This activity taught me more than just trusting others, it made me realize that once you took that first step to accepting and entrusting your heart and life to another person, it wasn’t hard to let other people come in and share your life. Once you are able to open that fort you’ve built around yourself, you’ll be able to learn that not everyone outside is an enemy. I should not let paranoia cloud my heart and attitudes, my mind and judgment.
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The third activity was the bridge. And it was hard. I have been heavy since I was a child, so looking at that tall huge tree, seeing the rope and looking at the distance between both trees and the shallow river between it, it made me uneasy.
It was my turn, those left in this side was cheering me on, and even those who were on the other side and crossing back on the thinner rope below was encouraging each other that we can do it. I look at them and think on the last activity and I tell myself, its worth a shot. I’d rather try and fail, than run away without trying. I was gonna end up not joining the next activity if I get left behind, so I could at least try so I can console myself that I didn’t run away. It was hard getting on top of the tree where the rope bridge was, I had to climb using a knotted rope, the kind you use on tree houses and those combat training things. So I pushed myself, it wasn’t hard to push yourself when people are cheering you on. Its harder to disappoint them by just giving up, than actually pulling my weight up that rope to the platform above. Even though it was hard, I did it. That for me was an accomplishment already. I got to the top of the tree, now all I have to do is tell myself i can cross the bridge. Since it was just a rope, I had to shift my weight around and move with the bridge. I don’t know how but I did it. I felt so happy after that. I realized that even though I was heavier than others, I can do it too. I’ve been sheltering myself in a cocoon before, hiding away because i kept saying to myself I couldn’t do it because I was scared that I will fail. In pushing myself up and finishing that task, I finally started to see and understand that I was the one limiting myself on what I can achieve. If I went out there and tried, I will still be happy even if I failed because I knew I tried. I would rather know, than keep thinking to myself, what if I did this or that, forever.
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Its been a long entry already so i think I’ll post the continuation tomorrow.
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P.S. Here is my friend on the rope bridge, none of mine was taken, but if you look at the left corner, you’ll see my shorts, leg and shoes. I’m heavy. >.<
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Digging through my bedroom clutter…
Alright. I gave in. Mom has been pestering me about my room for more than 2 weeks now so I finally gave in and started to clean it up and fix it. Just by looking at my clutter, you’ll know how grumpy and sad I’ve been feeling. I’m usually a neat freak, and I tend to organize my stuff a lot. I can be OC but when I’m down, my room shows it.
So I started to clean up since I was feeling quite good after my thoughts yesterday. I still don’t know what to do to get started on following that desire though, so I still am thinking and figuring how my life would work once school starts again. I used to be a major pack rat, I’d hide everything thinking i might need it someday, but thankfully I have been able to work on just keeping a few things now and actually throwing my old notebooks and papers (like 10 year ago ones) and have just kept some stuff that I have collected for the past 2 or 3 years. I’ve started sorting them out again and looking which I actually need still, and I’ve thrown those I know I will never use or need again ( I hope).
In the process , I got into thinking. That’s how much my life had been socially since I was young. I used to have lots of friends, but as the years went by I’ve only remained in contact with a few close friends. Those friends who I can say really knows me and have shared my life through its up and downs. Some people tell me I should go out more and meet new people. They said I had too few friends and that I was being disconnected to the world. They say too few people know me, and that I’m fading into the background. They keep saying I’m young and all so I shouldn’t waste my time and enjoy the world.
But it just sounds and feels wrong to me. I’m not a hermit, I can live and socialize with people but I just find it superficial for me to go out there and party like what they want me to do, if I’m not happy doing it. I’m perfectly fine staying at home, playing with my dogs, reading some books, surfing the net and a whole lot more than go out and drink and party. I used to do it, drink and stuff, but it never made me feel happy afterwards. Sure, I was around lots of people, they considered me “ok” since I went with what the crowd did, but it felt like it wasn’t me. I’m much more comfortable in a small crowd, where I know the people I’m with, and not just their names and such. I like it in the background too. I just learned its much easier to get to know people when your in the background or the backstage. Its also where a lot of real fun, like strong bonds and friendships get formed.
I’m not saying other people can’t find real friends when they party, what I’m saying is I can’t do it that way. The parties I enjoy, have less booze, less music (softer music actually) and more conversations and sharing about how our lives are and how each of us are. I’ve learned that quantity isn’t necessarily important when it comes to my friends. Quality such as their genuine interest and concern on me counts more.
I may not have lots of people coming to my funeral when I die, I may even be able to count them with my fingers (and toes), but at least I know that when these people come and cry, their tears weigh more than a whole barrel of beer to me.
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