Clay Pots & Wooden Spoons

Something happened a few days ago that told me it was time to let it go. Tons of blinking exit signs flashed in my mind and I finally accepted that it was time. I’ve been holding on to something that never existed and its time I finally accept that it was not meant to be. Somehow that brought closure more than any words can. It wasn’t mine and never will be. Time to go out and find what lies ahead for me.

The Christmas season usually brings a bit of vehicular accident news. I know some people who still drive even after getting a bit buzzed from drinks, and its hard telling people not to drive when they won’t listen. I hope we don’t get much accidents this year. I’ve had some relatives who encountered accidents while on motorcycles. Some lived, while some weren’t too lucky. With all these motorcycle related accidents, I still haven’t heard of a motorcycle accident attorney in our place. I haven’t heard of any friend or relative who went into law and specialized on motorcycle accidents.

The women from church came by today for a prayer meeting. I wasn’t feeling too well because of my stomach cramp so I only prepared some chicken sopas and pancakes for their refreshments. I wanted to bake a cake or maybe some cupcakes but my cramps were acting up so I had to give in and make something easier and faster to prepare. I’ve already tried hot compress, oil, and taking buscopan but so far nothing has worked yet.

I hope it gets better tomorrow.

These days my holy week is spent staying at home with the family. Back when I was younger (until I was 17 I think…) we used to go up in Pangasinan to spend it in the church we frequented back then. But a lot of things has changed over the years and we have never gone back there after that summer. I miss those times but I don’t wallow in it anymore. I can never bring those times back so I have to simply move on. Sometimes I can’t help but reminisce but at the end of the day I remind myself that I can never go back. Some things are better left forgotten even if at times it haunts and finds you when you least expect it.

There are some things one should never do and it happened that summer. I will take it back if I could and bring it back to how everything was. I want to so bad that it hurts, but nothing will ever be the same again. I know what I did that summer, I just wish I can undo it.

I’ve been getting sick a lot lately. I am going to try and focus again on healing and pray that everything goes back to normal. My headaches are coming in slow waves and I’m trying to focus on other things so as not to get it worse than it is right now. It must be the heat especially in Manila. I didn’t get too much bad headaches back when it was cold here. I definitely need a vacation far from the city. I miss P. I wish we still went there for Holy Week. :’( The best summers of my life was formed there. I think a part of my heart was even left there.