Moving Out is Moving On

March 15, 2008 · Filed Under Thoughts and Musings

Nikaâ€™s Thoughts and Musings

I was talking with my best friend last week and the topic was how our lives are. We are of the same age and though she has started working as a teacher in a nursing school, she lives at home with her parents still, like I do.

Living with our parents is very common here in the country. We can see many individuals still living with their families whenever they are still single and some even if they are married and with their own children already. I do understand that doing so helps in saving up especially since rent can be quite expensive these days. Also it does help when there is family around whenever we need them when we are sick or when we need their support.

But at what cost? I asked myself after our talk. I have been at home with my parents and my siblings ever since. The longest time I have been away would be around 3 months - 6 months. Although I miss them a lot when I am somewhere else, it can’t be helped that certain differences in views as well as attitudes can at times cause discomfort and stress at home. My younger sister has left already since she has started a call center work and she lives on her own renting a room.I do stay there at times and I enjoy the silence that can at times be lacking at home. Although the room feels empty at times when she leaves, I find time for myself which I usually don’t have. I can just sit still on the floor and do nothing without anyone calling on me to fix this and that, no dogs barking, no other voices except the ones on tv and on my head.

I like it when my parents tell me when I’m not right but sometimes it can be too much that I want to just be by myself, to think for myself. Living at home with them makes me a child all the time, that I am scared to act like an adult simply because I have them always by my side. Moving out is not a defiance but a way for me to find myself. I need to learn to take care of myself, I need to not be scared and worried on getting lost that I stay at a familiar place all the time. I want to learn to finally stand on my own two feet and make decisions for myself on how I want to live my life and being happy with it.

I can’t move on if I don’t move out of here. Maybe this time I will finally face my fears instead of hiding in a burrow I created for myself.